Sunday, January 22, 2012

Five things

1. I had the scariest low I've had yet, last week.  I was 41 after I drank some juice and waited a while.  I woke up in the night and couldn't move...literally, couldn't force myself to move, I kept almost falling asleep but I realized that I was low and needed the juice box next to my bed, but I just couldn't do it...I knew from reading other people's blogs that I was starting to lose consciousness, and if it wasn't for that, knowing what was happening, reading other people's detailed accounts of their lows, I wouldn't have known HOW important it was to stay awake and get the juice.  It felt like an hour that passed, between forcing my arms to work, forcing myself to roll over, forcing myself to wrap my fingers around the juice, then fighting the clumsiness to get it open, and put the straw in the hole, then in my mouth...then drink...all of it, felt like I was climbing a mountain, and in slow motion.  So, I drank the juice, then I just waited...maybe I woke up soaked in sweat, but the first time I noticed it was after I had some juice...finally, after ten minutes or so I got up to test...41.  what was I before?  Not cool.

2. I'm going back to Bismarck to work for a couple of weeks...I'm looking forward to being back in my old store, working with the other managers there...I can't wait to see some friends while I'm in town!  But I'm nervous...I haven't been back since last June...since just a few months after I moved from there, and when I think about going back...well, its not going home anymore.  My moms not there and that's what made it home.  I'm sad, and I'm nervous, and...I miss my mom.  I just miss her...

3. I got 2 different kinds of insets to try - the kind that goes in straight and one kind that goes in at an angle.  I haven't quite mastered the ones that go in at an angle and I don't think I like them. 

4. I also haven't quite mastered WHERE to put them.  I learned the hard way last week that its not okay to put them right over your rib cage.  What on earth made me think that was a good idea?  Live and learn I guess...

5. I have the worlds most painfully difficult pro/con list going for a decision I don't want to make.  Its split 50/50 almost exactly and one side is purely emotional while the other side is completely logical.  Its annoyingly similar to this banter that's constantly going on in my head.  In terms of fight or flight I always use to see my self as a person who fought.  Fight for whats important, when it matters stand up and fight back, when the chips are down you stick it out, when you're backs against a wall, come out punching, yada yada yada... I don't know what happened but I changed.  Now I want to run.  I've reached the limit of how much I can be hurt in one lifetime, I'm done.  flight. Leave, get out before you get knocked out.  

1 comment:

  1. I don't like the angled sites at all. They always feel like they are coming out. Personally, I prefer my leg. It's actually my favorite spot. Several friends wear them on their arm, but that's not for me. Others on their lower back above their bum, but mine don't stick there well. So for me, it's my leg. Everyone is different, but keep trying till you find your favorite spots and then you'll master rotating real estate like a champ!