I'm learning something...and I'm stubborn so I'm making it more difficult than I need to I suppose. Diabetes doesn't care. It doesn't care that my favorite foods are the ones it hates, it doesn't care what time it is, and that time might be 3 in the morning and maybe I'm sleeping...I'm still low and diabetes does not care. It doesn't care that I'm at a wedding, and the bride and groom are in the middle of their vows...things still beep. Diabetes doesn't care. It doesn't care about when we're busy at work and I don't have time to stop and eat something, it doesn't care that today was suppose to be a day to do nothing...it doesn't care that I took all the right steps and it looks right now like diabetes didn't even notice that I set a higher temporary basil because I was planning on not leaving the couch. It doesn't care that I OVER bolused for the pizza I ate, without apology. Diabetes obviously doesn't care because 7 hours after I ate the pizza my pump FINALLY stopped telling me to treat my high and test for ketones. But not by much...my blood sugar is 4 points below that warning.
I've had this pump for almost a week. I'm not great at it yet. I'll get it, and while the first few days were a frustrating medley of lows, we lowered my basil just a TINY bit and I'm feeling better...I'm feeling good enough to see the benefits. I opened on Friday morning at work and before I left my house I set a temporary basil at -30% knowing I would be putting away the truck then prepping for a few hours and for the first time since I was diagnosed, on an open, I didn't get low! I was so excited I did a happy dance at the 97 that came up on my Ping :D I saw it work when my correction bolus was a .6 and I knew giving myself that .6 instead of having to take a full unit as a shot was the difference between correcting a small high and over correcting and probably waking up low. I see it working when I notice the bruises disappearing on my stomach (only to be replaced by the mark the tubing leaves, but we're not talking about that). I like the pump. I like it a lot.
Today I changed my set by myself for the first time (first two times are done at the doctor) and I was proud of myself, first for only needing to count to 3 once before pushing the button to insert it (lol if you'd been there to witness the first time, you'd understand what a big deal this is!) and second for not forgetting something important. I know it was the pizza, but shortly after that is when my bg started to go up...I got nervous that I did something wrong...so I kept testing every half hour or so...266, 289, 297, 299...and the correction bolus my Ping said I could give each time so why in the heck was it still going up?! Diabetes does not care that I am frustrated and confused. Guess what happened after 299? Your max TDD has been reached, bolus not given. fantastic. I don't know what that means and its 11:30 at night, how do I find out?! I'm irritated now. Diabetes still doesn't care. So I call Animas to find out if I'm just not getting the bolus I tried to give or if I'm not getting the basil insulin either...neither. I am getting neither. Safety setting...I get it. I know I'll be paying for this trigger happy response in a few hours. now I'm pissed off. Diabetes doesn't care.
11:45...266...not a good number, but I may have lost my mind at 300.
So after the nice Animas rep tells me she'd be more than happy to walk me thru raising the amount, but it does reset at midnight so I could just wait 8 minutes and it'll start giving me insulin again. Then she says, did you just require more insulin than normal today? and I tear up and bite my lip as I say yeah, I ate pizza and I shouldn't have. Stupid, stupid me. Stupid pizza. Stupid diabetes.
Midnight...228. Its probably not the site...I probably didn't mess it up. It was probably that dumb pizza. But I'm not convinced, I'm still nervous. So, I type...and I catch up on my google reader. And I get ready to watch the cutest video ever right here: http://www.theprincessandthepump.com/2012/01/sweetpeas-first-vlog-i-can-test-my-own.html
And I remind myself that this happens all the time...I read about it in blogs at least a few times a week and I cheer these people on until I get to the end of the blog and I hear that it all turned out okay.
And then its 12:30 so I test again... 266. Awesome. its going back up. Of course it is, I didn't get any insulin at all for a while. I'll give it until one before I completely lose my mind. But if I do...diabetes won't care...